Make more opportunities for good sex
Before you can have better sex, you need to find someone to have sex with. This tends to be a more laborious task if you’re single, and one that usually involves dating apps. So, how can you make your profile as sexy as possible?
Discover what you like
You’re never going to have really great sex until you discover what you like – and then learn how to ask for it. Exploring by yourself is the logical first step; and you don’t just have to do this via porn. “There’s so many erotic mediums out there to engage with,” says sex coach Stella Sonnenbaum. “There’s old-fashioned magazines, erotic fiction, audio porn, erotic art. You can even go to sex shops, alone or with your partner, or go to sexy events, like swingers clubs, Tantra festivals, or [sex-focused] workshops.”
Or, as psychosexual psychotherapist Silva Neves puts it: “Be curious about your own erotic mind.” “Ask yourself: What do you want? What do you like? What are your fantasies? What parts of your body do you love being touched? Once you have a good idea about your own eroticism, you can invite your partners into the dialogue.”
Of course, you can also learn what you like with a partner – a lesson that’s much easier to grasp when you’re sober (or sober-ish). “When you’re exploring sexually and learning about yourself and other people, you’re not going to retain any information if you’re, like, full-on wasted,” says Sciortino. “If you’re really drunk, you’ll never feel in tune enough with yourself to be totally present, enjoy the experience, and connect with your partner.”
